Mother was angry over money—I feel responsible. via /r/raisedbynarcissists

Well, I was enjoying a brief vacation from the temp job that I was let go from when my father asked me to help him with a large construction job. I obliged because this was a huge job with a lot of work to be done. (brickwork for two sets of stairs, patio, and over 800 square feet of bluestone pavers for walkways around the house). Lots of work meant lots of pay. I later learned that this side job would pay over $10,000 dollars. Anyways, I was responsible for mixing cement, applying grout, cleaning, assisting and generally all the physical labor. Acid washing 800 square feet of bluestone is some tedious work. It was hard work, especially since the weather was above 85 degrees most of the days. Despite everything, I manned up and pushed through the 12 hour days because I wanted to help my father with an important job. Also, I was looking forward to my paycheck at the end of the three weeks.

Well, today was the day. Father came home with a fat stack of cash equal to $12,500. We had a prearranged deal that I would take the same amount that I make at my temp job (which is approximately $350 per week after taxes). So, $1000 for 3 weeks of work seemed fair. He handed me the cash and told me to take my portion. So I did. Just as I took my hard-earned money, my mother stormed out of the living room and started yelling how I’m ungrateful and how she works so hard, how no one respects her and how I should feel guilty taking money from family.

Then, there was more yelling about what happened this morning with my little brother. Well, it was the first day of school and my brother was going into 8th grade. My mother woke up early and got everything ready for him. Brother was being a pain by not waking up on time and not letting my mom take the obligatory “first-day-of-school-photo” of him. As a result, he threw a baby tantrum and eventually pulled the camera from mom’s hands (which really pissed her off). And that’s all that I remember.

Anyways, back to my situation… Father and I stood in shock. Holy guacamole! Here we go again. What in the hell was going on? Surely I worked my ass off for that money. Nope, not according to mother. You see, I have to pay back mother for raising me. (Sending me to school, college, paying for tutors, etc…). And I’ll happily pay her back when I become successful and have a great job. However, now I am saving up money for a car, an apartment and other stuff. But to deny me $1000 dollars for three weeks of my time, while I could have been more productive is absurd.

It seems like today was a shit day. I hate to think that my mother is a narcissist because she has always been there for me when I was lost and depressed. I know that she means to do good, but sometimes her behavior is uncalled for. I’m not the only one that worked hard. She also works hard and tries to make sure that I achieve something in life. She cleans houses for a living so I can understand why she acted this way. Years of being undervalued and not respected at work, as well as my brother’s bad behavior at home and my shit attitude towards life probably got to her and triggered something in her brain. This is not the first incident of this type of behavior. Honestly, I feel bad and constantly worry that my mother might have bipolar disorder.

For my brother’s sake, I want a calm home, one without argument and imperfection. I just want to see my family happy.