I’m sick, undiagnosed, and I feel like I’m losing everything. via /r/confession

My family, my boyfriend and his family, are all very supportive.

But supportive can't pay our bills.

I've been sick for months and months, and no one can figure out exactly what's causing it. We've done every blood test out there. We're only seeing my SED rates/inflammatory markers rising.

I've been told it's mono, CFS, fibromyalgia, potentially MS, and my favorite: "if you find your inner peace, your symptoms will begin to resolve themselves".

I was lucky enough to be on short term for a small amount of time, but my doctor's dropped the ball on my appeal, and I was denied.

I have been forced to go back to work, at least part time, to maintain my insurance.

I don't know what to do any more.

Every day I do everything I can to hold back the tears from pain I'm experiencing. My fatigue is out of control. I don't do anything besides work part time and sleep.

In addition to my mystery illness, I'm diagnosed bipolar 2. I'm medicated and seeing a therapist regularly, but whatever I'm sick with has driven my mental illness symptoms through the roof. I've been hospitalized once since I became sick, and the medication doesn't seem to be working like it once did.

I'm physically and mentally in constant pain and suffering, and I just don't know what to do anymore.

My medical bills are starting to get out of control. My registration just expired on my car and I also moved states, so now I have to find a way to get enough money to register my car in this state, pay my back taxes on it, and change my license over to this state. How am I supposed to do that when we don't have enough money for food? I have to wait in line for the mobile food bank, but it's not much where I live.

My boyfriend is paying the rent, utilities, and the rest of the bills by himself. He can't keep it up more than one more month.

I guess my confession is that I feel useless. I feel like a burden. All I want is to get better. I want a diagnosis so I can start treatment and work again. I want to be an equal partner in my relationship. I need to pay bills, and I need to eat, and I need to take care of my pets. I want to know what's wrong with me so I know if I'm going to get worse.

I'm doing everything I'm supposed to be doing, and I'm just falling behind. I don't know how much longer I can keep this up.

[remorse][support]