Inside the witness box: the funny things economists say

Here are some simply priceless funny experiences of actual economists. The names that posted them to a popular economics listserve have been removed to protect the guilty parties, enjoy! (thanks economics listserv)

Act I

Attorney - Now you said over 80% of your work comes from litigation support?
Economist - Yes, sir.

Attorney - That means most of your income comes from working on calculations related to law suits?
Economist - Yes, sir.

Attorney - And that means you spend almost all of your time working with attorneys?
Economist- Yes, sir. Each job has its own cross to bear.

Act II

After a quite long cross exam, during which I answered ‘yes sir’ and ‘no sir’ as often as possible the attorney asked me: “Doctor, I guess all your years in the military got you into the habit of answering yes sir and no sir.” I just looked at him and said “No sir, my mother taught me that.”

Act III

Attorney: Doctor, are you a financial advisor? Do you help people with their investments?
Economist: No Sir... well, that is not exactly correct. I am helping a bank trust department evaluate a specific portfolio and I do help my Mother-in-Law when she asks.

Attorney: You help your Mother-in-law? Does she pay you for your advice?
Doctor: No Sir, but she lets me sleep with her daughter.

Act IV

Economist: You keep asking me the same question twice.
Attorney: I'm sorry but I had to repeat my economics course.
Economist: So because you had to repeat economics you have to repeat your questions.